Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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