ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
