I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
