Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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