i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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