Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
