please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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