i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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