one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
