i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
