whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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