Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Vodka?
Forever.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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