Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
