I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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