check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
