Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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