meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
