somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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