Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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