Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
