you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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