Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
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