Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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