i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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