I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
