let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
