im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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