shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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