we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
