i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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