Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
