We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
