I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
