week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
