it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Randomize
