I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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