Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We're facebook friends in real life
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
