You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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