I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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