guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
