did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
