I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
