Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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