it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
