Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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