Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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