i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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