So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
It was like getting head from an anaconda
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
