My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
