True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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