my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
