i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she looked like the before picture.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
