rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
