Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
