turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She even gives head with a lisp.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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